Your Children are Always Your Children (Part 1)

Your children are not your children

wrote the great Lebanese poet Khalil Gibran
and I might agree wholeheartedly 
had my heart not been broken by fatherhood

while thinking of having children 
you might expect that they will 
love you as a kindred spirit
cherish you as their father
honour you as a fellow human
respect you as their elder
— tacit expectations
you may take for granted

while they are infants you may feel 
the irresistible urge to share 
with them all you've got
your attention
your energy 
your heart
your home
your love
your life
your money
your presence
your secrets
your time
your worries

you may feel 
the overflowing desire to fulfill 
all their whims and wishes
respond to all their poops and burps
just to make them smile
or to give them a fair chance
to live their own life 
more fully and far better 
than you ever could
and as a result of your 
kindness and empathy
your generosity and compassion 
you may find that they 
take you for granted

instead of returning the love
trust and respect you pour into them 
they may come to you with 
expectations, demands and commands
instead of growing into kindred young ones 
they may become your task masters 
or slave drivers
the more you give the more they take
if you sacrifice your life 
in their formative years 
they may take it as entitlement 
to claim the whole of your life
...
(continued in part 2)

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